..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
