I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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