You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
