i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
