people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
did i walk over a car last night?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize