I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
