Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
