I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
she looked like the before picture.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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