My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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