what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
