i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize