Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
