I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
