ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
