So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
