I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
