i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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