He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
if i died would you start the facebook group?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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