6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
