Well douche your snatch and let's go!
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
