the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize
