when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
