I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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