dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
