it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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