your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
