we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
