another moral hangover. fuck.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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