party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
