Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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