So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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