Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize