if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
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