Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
