She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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