thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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