you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
