Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize