i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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