Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize