he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
