There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
