How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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