i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
