It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize