We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
It's blow job season.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
