Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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