Kareoke will never be a sober sport
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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