well you can't waste a boner
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
