i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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