I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
