hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
