He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
