As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
