So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
