sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
