dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
