the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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