I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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