Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
In other news, I just burned my penis
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
