A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize