normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
