i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
