She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
