i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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