you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
